Tomorrow I have an induction thing with AAMI the insurance company.  I'm nervous as all hell, I was advised by my JNM that I need to ask smart questions or questions where i will stand out to the people and to treat it like an actual interview.  I've looked at their website but I only can think of one question so far.  This involves Valet Service.  Then if they're impressed with me they'll ask me in for the proper interview.  IPA are gonna groom me for the actual interview itself which I'll be really happy about if I do get to the interview stage.

I've gone through this so many times and I"m just totally over it.  But I'll keep plodding on.  I'm going to smile, I'm going to breathe and I'm going to relax and have fun.  As Adam just wrote to me on msn, the rest of tomorrow will be my oyster.

Gnight.

 This afternoon I was watching the movie Posession with Gwyneth Paltrow and Aaron Eckhart, about finding lost love letters by I think two research assistants, and they were researching the life of a poet and it turns out he had a passionate yet tragic love affair with a woman.  It was a beautiful story and I hope to get it on dvd or next time it's on tape it.

While watching the movie, there is a sequence close to the end where Gwyneth has a breakdown over her past relationships and I suddenly began thinking about the week Brooke dumped me, starting work at Travelex and finishing at Productivity Commission and the folks and I packing to move; I started feeling an incredible sense of calm and a little voice inside my head said "I'm going to be ok.  I am ok"  When you break up with someone or your relationship just goes down the toilet you spend a good portion of your life and time thinking "This hurts so much that I feel like I'm going to die".  Well, I've gone through that and it hasn't killed me.  I"m still alive.  I still want to get in touch with him only to get answers, I hope I can, because I need to put this chapter to a close.  But I don't know if he and I can be friends.  I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I was but i don't think I'm strong enough to have him in my life as a friend.  Only time will tell.

I am blessed to know that I have friends and family who love me and will be here for me and I hope they know that I love them and will be there for them as well.

I'm catching up with Nat tomorrow, who I really haven't seen for the past 4 months except on her birthday in April and I hope it goes well.  I'm a little worried that she may be siding with Bec but at the same time I'm thinking "So what?  She's entitled to her opinion".  It'll sadden me if things go pear-shaped as she and I have been best mates since the 7th grade and I value her friendship the most out of my highschool circle of mates.

At the same time I'm learning to let things go quicker and with positivity and love.  YAY ME!!

Clubbing with Shaz and the gang tomoz night which should be lots of fun.  Getting off now, have to shower and am pickin up my love Adam :-D

 So, I did my ironing tonight and as I was putting my clothes in my wardrobe on the coat hangers I realised "I've got too many clothes here".  It's more my chest of drawers that poses the problem as I've had these since we came to Australia, actually since I was about 6 years old, I've decided that I need to update my room something chronic.  Problem is money right now.  I think I'll buy the bed first and chest of drawers later.  Bed first, as it makes me still feel like a little girl.  Proper queen sized bed will make me feel more womanly.  Might sound silly but that's just how I feel.  Am going through many changes these last few months and a new bed with matress and drawers is in order.

So, just trying out my posts to see if it works etc.  Will have to get help from mates to update my LJ and profile pic etc.